Sarahjanus's Blog

About me

I just read some other blogs from like-minded people. I need to open up a bit. So, I am a retired civil servant who uses the daily emptiness of his home to dress in clothes that feel comfortable. I have a whole host of personal issues that will probably keep me from doing the manly (or womanly, because it would be sharing) thing and opening up to my so-far-trusting wife. In the meantime, I will write my heart out here in the hopes that some one finds some common ground and realizes they are not alone.
I haven’t figured out much about blogs or make-up so I’m not in a position to post photos as so many of you have but I hope to get there.
I tend to be sporadic in my attention to the blog. It’s almost as if the needs has to build before I can write and when it does, I’m like a tidal wave of self-pity. I’ve got to try to be more positive….

S^&t!   (04Oct10) I was going to add a thought here, that occurred to me while I was writing the quick post. By the time I changed screens/pages, I had lost the thought, d^&n A.D.D.

(05 Oct 2010) the banana smoothie theme is apropos because I have begun to feel like I’m blended and I can’t easily separate the ingredients.  I may take a job at the carnival as the bearded lady.

(03Fb 2011 I am a different person than the one who began this blog 6 months ago. Writing truly has helped me.



  1. I have enjoyed your blog. I have read a few of your posts and can sympathise with you on many levels.

    you dont say where you are based? UK, USA? it makes a difference when I correspond to fellow bloggers especially if one or two become friends.

    hugs helen xx

    Comment by Helen Chapel — January 11, 2011 @ 10:11 am

    • I am in Canada, Ontario, just north of the City of Toronto. Thank you for your kind words.

      Comment by Sarah Michelle — January 11, 2011 @ 4:47 pm

  2. hmm, Your blog came up as a related articles suggestion, I wanted to allow the trackback – but just so you understand before I do that I wanted to assure you It’s not at all because I see any similarity between yourself and cross dressing to the distinctly disturbed character in my blog. In fact – I wish he had the ability to help himself as much as you have done by writing (I do think he was in a completely different stratosphere from being able to get help though).
    So if any trackbacks come through to you from my blog, please don’t be offended, my experience is based on surviving with someone who really needed help and it sucked a lot out of me until I left.
    You seem well balanced and completely honest IMO, I applaud you for the efforts you’ve gone to to write it out.

    Comment by Former Dominatrix — June 27, 2011 @ 11:10 pm

  3. Life is all about learning and we should never stop, that is how we grow. For me when I started it was just makeup, and then came clothes, then dressing up and finally going out as Susan. I find now that it is hard to get motivated to dress up unless I am going someplace, even if it is just to Starbucks for an hour or two to play on my computer. Even my blog has grown and changed. Started out just for me kind of a diary to write down what I did as Susan. Now with people reading it I tend to write more like I am telling someone else.
    Your blog is good and you seem to know and understand who you are. Keep growing and try new experiences and most of all have fun with who you are.

    Comment by susanmiller64 — July 6, 2011 @ 10:10 pm

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