Sarahjanus's Blog

September 6, 2012

The End of Summer; A New Beginning

Filed under: crossdresser — Sarah Michelle @ 9:49 am

It is September 6th, 2012, a Thursday, the third day after the long weekend that makes Ontario return to school. It is the first week that I have had the house to myself since early in this year. It is the first day that I have been able to wear a skirt and top in months. I am in a very contained way, reveling in the moment.

I have a lot to do today, some of which will take me out of the house and by extension out of this role that I have so longed for these many months. However, the last dependent child has moved out and off to college. So I am anticipating many calm quiet mornings when I can dress as I wish, work attentively at learning to apply make-up effectively, and practice the different ways to style my wigs. In short, I hope to practice my craft until I am comfortable with the external projection of my inner being.

This is a short blog entry. I have discovered that, previously, I would settle into the computer in the morning, with my coffee and after saying “good morning” to various people on Facebook, I would begin a blog. Usually, at about a thousand words or so, I would look up with shock to discover that the morning had left me and I was staring at noon, with none of the household chores done. It is even worse when I am working and I discover the morning has passed with no billable hours. So it is my intention to say “good morning” as early as I can and then return to my required duties, completing them first before blogging.

Sarah breathes again and that is a wonderful feeling. It is like coming up from the cold dark bottom of a lake, breaking through the surface of the water, feeling the light on my face, and the air rushing into my lungs. I’m still in the water. Solid ground is not in sight but I’m floating, not sinking. I’m breathing and I expect to continue to do so for the foreseeable future.


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